Nevertheless...

Loves of my life,

Are you sitting in a comfy chair? No? Find one. Get comfortable.

Originally I started writing this email that was filled with reflective moments and pensive one-liners. Mid-paragraph I realized that I couldn't reduce this experience to that -- so I'm starting again.
Simply.
I feel as much peace about coming home tomorrow as I did when I originally decided to serve a mission over a year ago.
Do you know how people use the phrase, "There aren't words to describe [insert meaningful experience here]?" That's not how I feel about this.
There are PLENTY of words to describe how much the time on my mission changed my life and me and how I look at everything that matters to me. I'll share some of them when I see you next.

I told my parents something last week and I feel impressed to share it with you all, too.
We're not moping about this situation. We are finding every possible joy in it. We are celebrating -- life, love, everything. We're not going to exchange "I'm sorry's" and "Oh, too bad's." We will hug and laugh and cry tears of happiness and I'll be that obnoxious girl who won't shut up about all the beautiful souls she met on her mission. Then we'll do our best, under the care of great doctors, to find out what's malfunctioning in this luscious vehicle of mine, and I'll feel better. Or maybe I won't.

A man I have tremendous respect for shared this sentiment with me before I left: one of the most meaningful words in scripture and, really, in life is nevertheless. Just saying it makes me take a deep breath and re-focus.
That's what I remember at the end of the day. No situation is ideal; nevertheless, we will be happy. We won't have regrets. We will remember all the good that entered our lives because of a compilation of tiny, good decisions. Yes, bad things will happen. That's inevitable. Nevertheless, life moves forward, upward, onward...joyfully.

Much love, gratitude, and prayers for you guys,
Sister Carlyn Ashlee Goodpaster